At the End of the Day…It's On Me

I’ve never been so nervous heading into a competition weekend.

And I’ve struggled to figure out why.

I’ve taken teams to many, many different tournaments over the last 20 years. I remember some anxiety heading into a couple of them, mainly the US Youth Soccer Midwest Regional Championships back in 2007, 2009 and 2010.

But there is something different about the start to this year’s ECNL competition.

Maybe because I have a daughter on the team?

I don’t think it’s that.

Maybe because we’re supposed to be playing in the most competitive youth league in the world?

I don’t think it’s that either.

I know full well that ultimately the W/L record over the next 2 years doesn’t mean a ton. My job is to do my best to help these girls develop so that when performance really does matter they are able to show their stuff.

And future performance doesn’t matter in terms of future winning. Future performance matters in terms of playing in college - something that most girls in our club desire.

The ECNL has become the go-to place for college coaches looking to scout top talent. The league is currently home to 100+ of the most competitive clubs in the country. This means that any given U15 and older ECNL showcase event is bound to allow college coaches to maximize efficiency and travel to one place to see tons of talent.


I believe I saw a stat that something like 19 players from the 2021 NCAA DI College Cup championship Santa Clara University side competed in the ECNL as youth players.

This doesn’t mean that a kid HAS to play in an ECNL club in order to play in DI soccer. It can help, but it’s not a prerequisite.

Back to the nerves…

I has to come down to the desire to win.

Anyone who says winning doesn’t matter in youth soccer is off their rocker. Right or wrong, you only have to go down the road to your local soccer complex on game days and stroll the sidelines to see how important it is to people. It doesn’t matter if it’s U6 recreational game or U18 league championship game. Parents want to win. Coaches want to win. Players want to win.

Winning is why we compete. We don’t play games to lose. Well…that is unless you’re playing then older team in your club for a shot at going to represent the state of Minnesota at the Regional Championships…but that’s a whole other story.

I always tell the girls and their parents that no one is going to remember the score of a U13 game in 3 years.

Well…some people may remember the score I guess, but they won’t care about it.

Well…I guess some people may still care about the result…but they’re psychos.

So winning matters, and that’s OK. What’s not OK is when winning matters at the expense of the young players themselves. More on this down the road.

On top of all this, I had a revelation last spring during the Jefferson Cup in Virginia when I realized that all things being fairly equal in terms of the skill and athleticism gap between us and our opponents, winning came down to the coach.

If we’re completely outclassed technically and/or athletically on the pitch, I couldn’t help manufacture a win even if I had Pep Guardiola’s coaching abilities.

But, if we’re comparable to our opponents in these areas, the result is on me -

• Did I get the team motivated enough to compete on the day?

• Was our pre-game warm-up efficient and relevant?

• Was I able to change our formation/personnel/tactics to neutralize our opponent’s strengths and exploit their weaknesses?

• Did I put the players in positions in which they can best perform?

• Were the substitutions timely, balanced, and intelligent?

• Did I use halftime to make changes that could help us get the result?

Lots of stuff surrounding the actual game, but there is more that I shoulder -

• Did I pick the right players for the team at tryouts?

• Did I do everything I could in the last month to get the team ready for this level of competition?

• Were the training sessions useful, effective, and relevant?

• Have I done enough to form a cohesive unit of players?

But I guess that’s why they pay me the big bucks…

Well, if the roughly $0.43/hour that it all boils down to can be considered big bucks…

On top of this, I feel a big responsibility to the parent group.

It is expensive to play in this club and compete in this league. Families pay a club fee of $3500, a team fee of $2,500, then pick up travel costs (See Substitutions, and The Expense), which probably all boils down to over $1,000/mo this year.

For their kid to play soccer.

For their kid to play soccer with me.

That’s fricking expensive! And they’ve put their trust in my guidance as a coach. As a coach of a youth team who is not playing games to lose.

As a coach of a youth team who wants to win.

So winning matters + The Virginia Revelation + responsibility to the parents = a wee bit of pressure on ol’ coach Marky.

But there is something more…

When I quiet my mind and really delve into these feelings, I think I find the answer.

This club was started to facilitate bringing Minnesota’s top talent together, have them benefit from the development that can occur in this training environment, and have them be able to compete on even footing with players from all across this country. To give them the same chance to reach their potential that players get who live in warmer climates - climates that allow year-round, outdoor training without burdening families with hefty dome fees.

And, I created this club.

I didn’t create elite soccer development in MN, nor the idea of pooling top talent to compete on a regional or national stage. Danny Storlien (current MTA ECNL Girls Director) was already well on his way to leading top-level soccer development in this state with Bangu Tsunami FC, and would have continued to do so with or without me.

People seem to either love or hate Danny, with no in-between. But I’ve always said that if some people don’t hate you, you’re probably not doing very big things…

I’ve known Danny for over 30 years, and worked with him for over 10. But it wasn’t until this past year that I really got to know him as a director. He 100% has what’s best for the club in the forefront of his mind. Always. He may rub some people the wrong way, but that’s because he speaks his mind and says things that people may not want to hear.

Regardless of people feel about him, I hope everyone can respect the decades of work he’s done to help grow the elite level of the game in this state. 14 years he’s sat at the helm of this club, a club that was recognized last year as one of the Top 25 girls clubs in the country.

Oh, and he was also part of the initial group of directors whose collective vision formed the ECNL.

Where was I? Oh yeah…

So elite soccer development was already happening, and would have continued to happen, without me, but the idea behind MTA - a multi-club, cooperative, player development effort under the guidance of the state’s professional soccer organization - was mine, and I was the one who made it a reality. More on this later.

And though I no longer make decisions for the club, and haven’t since 2010, I still, and will always, feel ownership. When I see a coach running a poor session, it hurts. When I see player development decisions made that I don’t agree with, it hurts.

Don’t get me wrong. Many people involved have done great things in the last 14 years to get this club to the place it is today. There are so many good things going on, and I still swell with pride when I see a field full of kids training, or see the team/individual accomplishments that come on almost a weekly basis.

But things aren’t perfect. They never are with any club. That doesn’t make it feel any better when I see things that I think need to be improved.

But it is what it is.

So I have a vested interest in this club. And this 09 team is the team I coach in the club I brought into existence. If they can’t be competitive in this national league, that would reflect on the club and why the club is here.

Maybe I’m taking too big of a leap, but that’s how I feel. All the work done to bring this club to life, and a qualified coach can’t (after years) develop a team to a competitive level on the regional/national stage - when that was the whole purpose of the club being formed from the get-go.

To add in even more to the mix, I feel deep down that if I can do something special with this team this year, I may have a chance to coach them again.

The club 1) doesn’t like parent coaches at the ECNL age groups, and 2) doesn’t think a coach should be with a team more than 2-3 years. There won’t be a candidate that has the combination of the highest level licensing, highest level playing experience, as well as the 29 years of coaching experience with young women that I have, but it won’t matter. I don’t make the decisions.

And that’s OK.

Part of me, a very small part of me, thinks I just might be doing Livi a disservice coaching her. I try so hard not to show any favoritism towards her that I’m actually harder on her than I am on her teammates.

But I’m her dad. I have the right to be more demanding.

Umm…Right?

I love coaching Livi, and I love coaching this group. It will be hard to step aside after this season.

I think this is the crux of the self-imposed pressure to get results. The thought that maybe, just maybe, if I do something really extraordinary with the girls, it may open up consideration for me to stay with them.

If the decision is made to put another coach in place, so be it. But it won’t be because I didn’t put my heart and soul into this team.

It will be a whole new experience being a soccer dad.

theECNLSOCCERDADexperience.com…

I better hit up GoDaddy and secure that premium domain name now…